Just be happy my love
by moonstar57
Summary: JJ decides it is time to move on with her life after a tragic moment changed her life.


Just be Happy My Love

JJ stared down at the grave and headstone at her feet. She was trying to

figure out a way to say what she had to say. Then she started remembering the

day her life came crashing down. That Wednesday, June 10, 2009, started out just

like all her work days started. The alarm would go off, and then one of them

would reach up and hit the snooze. Only they wouldn't snooze, they would

lie there quietly and talk, or kiss, and sometimes they even made love. JJ

had not realized that love could be this good, that your love would only grow

as time passed . She was so happy, and she thought Will was too. She hadn't

heard him complain anyhow.

Then they would hear Henry. He was one now, and the light of both there

eyes. They would go in together and one of them would get him out of his

crib and give him kisses, while the other one would get a diaper ready for

a change. That morning it was JJ's turn to change. Will ran off to shower

and to get ready for work. He loved working here at the local police station.

He was a policeman through and through. And they felt honored to have

him. They had found a wonderful nanny to stay with Henry while they

were at work during the day.

Will came out all dressed and showered just as JJ got Henry dressed. Some

mornings it was hard to do things, she just wanted to play with Henry.

Will came over and took him, it was his turn to start feeding Henry. Henry

was a good eater, but he wasn't fat. No, he was going to be slim like his

parents. Everyone could see that.

When JJ got out, Surrine the nanny had shown up. They both gave Henry a

kiss and hug and then headed out the door. Then before they got into

individual cars, they hugged and kissed. Some mornings that was harder to

stop than playing with Henry was. Then they told each other to be safe,

and went on their ways.

However this morning, it wasn't in Will's cards to be safe. A block away

from the police station, a man crossing in front of Will's car, turned and

fired six shots straight at Will. He died right there in his car, whispering

JJ's name.

"The police department didn't call me Will. Which I now know was a wise

move on their part. They called Hodge. Hodge told the team what had

happened and told them to get to the scene, as the unsub got away. They

were headed out the driveway when I pulled in. I wondered why they were

leaving but I figured maybe a coffee run."

JJ pauses now, remembering that bleak blank day. She finally got her

emotions back under control and continued, "I walked into my office and I

was surprised to see Hodge there waiting for me. He told me in a very

grave voice to sit down. He had something to tell me. I knew Hodge wouldn't

joke about any of this so I sat. And then Hodge, trying not to be too

choked up himself, told me that you were dead. I sat there for a few

minutes just staring at him, then I left out an awful moan. Then I stood

up and screamed "No, NO, NO," and swept everything off my desk. I wasn't

prepared for news like that, but then I guess no one ever is. Suddenly I

just started crying. I couldn't stop. All my dreams for the future, for a

sister or brother for Henry, for you and me to grow old together, they were

gone in a snap. Then I passed out and Hodge caught me and laid me on

the couch. I think Garcia brought me a cold rag."

"When I came too, I looked at Hodge and grabbed his suit jacket and begged

him to tell me it wasn't true. To tell me that in a second you would call me

and tell me it had been a horrible terrible mistake. But Hodge couldn't tell me

that, because you were dead. Morgan ID'd you so I wouldn't have to face

that trip to the morgue. I was told later the bullets ripped through …oh

we don't need to talk about that. Anyhow for the next week I was in a

fog. I moved, I took care of Henry, I ate sometimes, but it wasn't really

me. I was lost in our dreams. I was lost with you. And then the day came

when I had to let go. It hurt so badly. The worst hurt I ever had to face."

"During this time Hodge had arranged your funeral. Your family came in

from New Orleans and before they left I promised them no matter what the

future held I would make them apart of Henry's life. I wanted him to spend

time with them when he got older and hear stories about his dad growing up.

And to hear how he his dad hoad turned out to be wonderful man he was.

Henry's four now Will, he looks more and more like you everyday. Did I ever

thank you for the blessing you gave me when you gave him to me?"

The search for your killer reached dead ends, but bulldog Derek never gave up.

He and Reid hunted for your killer every spare minute they had and then

one day they got a break. A man finally came forward. He had been across

the intersection from where you got shot and he saw the car the unsub got

into. He had been afraid to come forward earlier, but he was afraid the guy

would kill him too. But I guess he couldn't take the knowledge any more and

he had to share it. The guy had specialized plates and when Garcia got

that information she found the guy right away. And the team went and

arrested him. But do you know why he killed you Will? It was a dare – a

damn dare!! Two guys high on something or other got to messing around and

one dared the other one to shoot a cop and you were the first one they

seen. I can't tell you how much I ranted, raved, screamed and hollered. I

lost you, the love of my life for a dare. Henry lost his dad, for a dare. It

didn't make sense. No sense at all."

"But Henry and I had to go on. No matter how hard it was, no matter

how much we hated life without you, we had to keep living. Sometimes

I thought if Henry hadn't been with me, I might have just laid down and

died. But you can't really do that no matter how bad you are hurting. Not

when you have a son depending on you.

"I want to thank you Will, between the insurance and everything, I was

able to pay off the house. And Hodge told me to take all the time I needed

and with the money you left, I was able too. I played Mommy with Henry for

nine months and then I realized I had to move on. Not forgot you, I could

never do that. But move on so I could smile and laugh again."

"Hodge was true to his word. He took me back. Our first case was a

cop killing, can you believe it? I can't tell you how hard it was to work

it, but I was able to say to the widow I knew how she felt. Because I

still felt that way sometimes."

"After that my life became Henry and work. Work and Henry. Until one day

a little over a year ago, Hodge called me. He said he had Jack and he was

wondering if maybe it would be OK for him and Jack to

come over to play. I said yes, that sounded good. And you know Will that

day was the first day I realized I could be happy again. Watching those

boys play – I still missed you, there was still a hole in my heart where

you once were, but I realized for the first time since your death that I could

go on and be happy. That you would want that for me, and Henry."

"And so I am here now Will not to tell you good-by, I will never do that,

but to tell you I have someone new in my life. He is really strong,

caring, has a wicked sense of humor, and you would like him Will. Well you did

like him Will."

Just then you hear a horn honk in the distance. JJ turns around, smiles

and waves. Then she turns back. "So Will I hope you can forgive me, for

falling in love again. I hope you can forgive me for moving on. He is never

going to be Henry's father, you are the only father Henry will have. But

he will be there for Henry when he needs a man in his life. He loves

Henry, Will, and he will do right by him."

"Will, I need to go. Hodge and the boys are in the car, we are going to DC

to the Zoo. They boys are good together Will. And Hodge and I are good

together. Wish us well, please, but remember you are always in my heart

and you will always be the first guy I truly loved. God Bless You Honey.

I'll still come by and visit you if that is OK? And I'll bring Henry

next time for a visit with his dad.. Until then Will, remember I will always

miss you. And even with the way things are between Hodge and me,

I would trade it in a moment to have you back."

JJ looks at the headstone a minute or two longer, then she turns and starts

to walk up to the car. A little boy so much like Will comes running to

her, in a second, another boy that looks like Hodge gets out and runs to her also.

And Hodge steps out of the car and watches the three of them come closer

and closer to him.

It's too bad JJ didn't turn around. If she had she would have seen

Will's ghost, sadly smiling at her and Henry. And she would have

heard him whisper over and over "Just be happy my love, just be happy."


End file.
